Yes, I’m still around.  Just lacking motivation to write…

I’m beginning to dread getting the mail at the church each day.  What was once exciting opportunities to read new information and to check out what sort of things this congregation gets in the mail, has become incredibly frustrating.  I’ll divide the mail into 4 catagories.

1. Things I just need to give to the secretary (checks from parishoners, etc.)

2. Things I need to respond to asap.

3. Junk mail from organizations I have no interest in connecting this church to

4. Synodical mailings and ELCA mailings full of exciting ministry ideas and good stuff that I JUST CAN’T DO!

For example, I have received a ton of Fair Trade stuff, a ton of Bread for the World Stuff, an Appeal to adopt an ELCA missionary, Lutheran World Relief info, and local shelters seeking help…. ALL THIS WEEK!  How do I sift all this stuff and introduce the congregation to the global needs without overwhelming them, cause I’ve only been here for 3 months?  I keep filing stuff away to use later, and it makes me feel bad – this is all stuff that I would love to be involved in…

I think at the root of it all, it just makes me feel like I’m a bad pastor.  Like I’m taking the time here to post on my blog as I try to come up with something to teach two kids for confirmation and something to teach 5 adults for Sunday School and something to preach to 50 people – and I should be doing all that plus feeding babies in Africa, advocating for women’s rights, and fair trade in developing countries, writing thoughtful letters to missionaries, attending a synod stewardship meeting, and cleaning the freakin’ library at the church. All this afternoon.

I was watching Oprah yesterday.  It was a special about Mothers who, under pressure to be the perfect mother, get overwhelmed and accidentally leave their children in the car for eight hours or unattended in the bathtub…  I’m feeling a little overwhelmed and not nearly perfect enough.  I suppose this is the time when I remind myself that God doesn’t need me to be perfect, God needs me to show up and try.  Here I am God – which of the aformentioned 18 things on my mind should I try first?